"You Look Amazing"

Has to be my favorite saying right now. After trials and tribulations, I'm finally down to 161, with in 26 lbs of my main goal. Funny thing is, I haven't been running, but I've been mucho stressed out these days which seems to have helped the belt line a bit. Oh, and the fact that I may be near falling in love. I know you're going "AWW!"

I've decided that after this week of work and now that I'm finally settled in the apartment after the whole ceiling collapse catastrophe, it's time to start out right and do everything the good way to get ready for the February cruise :)

Alright, Alright. It's update time.

I stopped posting because, well, it was a bit hard to type my weight for awhile there. With the whole situation of Cushings and doing the running, eating right, working out, the scale seemed to be my nemesis. Everyone around reassured me that I was apparently having a body dysmorphic moment where I believed I was bigger - but I saw the scale, I saw myself naked. Nothing seemed to be working. At one point the scale actually read 189. Just seeing that made me want to throw up.

Well, since then I've been "officially" diagnosed with Cushings which led to a medication to control my pituitary gland (part of the cause is a non-operable tumor on it), I've really taken to heart the getting out and get running, and I'm really watching what I eat most days.

This morning I ended up 1/2 dazed as I got out of the shower and did the normal routine of get naked, get weighed, get showered. But when I stepped on the scale it read 162. Didn't seem right - I mean I was 169 on Thursday at the doctor and I really didn't watch my ps & qs this weekend with puppy sitting and what not. After the shower and a bit more awake, I stepped on it wet - 164. Funny, I thought - two pounds of water? I mean 164 itself still didn't seem right. Towel on head - 166. Towel off of head - 163.5 (guess I dried a bit). Then it dawned on me - this is freaking awesome.

The first result - it's healthy weight loss. I've been really losing about 2 lbs a week, average for a female. The second - all the work is paying off.

To tell you honestly, Shaq's Big Challenge has been a catalyst in the struggle to do things RIGHT. If you've read the beginning of this blog, you'll know that I've struggled with that concept. If you're not familiar - I recommend searching it big time on Google, what he did for these 6 kids was amazing - especially a kid named Chris. I mean, you see his before and after and can't believe it's the same person.

Anyway, back to work and not being ashamed of the scale!

Getting back on track (AGAIN)

So the doc was finally able to give me a heads up on what's going on with my weight. After months and months of getting violently sick off of meat, working out like a dog and still gaining 3-4 pounds while restricting my calories I practically broke down in tears in her office.

I told her everyday was a struggle to not slip back into what I would know would work (ana/mia) and that my behavior was falling into the ana category already she finally tested me for a rare disorder called Cushings. Boom, there it was. Positive result. One prescription of three pills a day is finally yielding results.

I still can't really eat meat, which I'm okay with since it's been so long anyway. The pounds are gently gliding off in a healthy manner. I'm eating correctly and I'm getting back my self confidence.

Freaking finally.

Fabulous my ass.

I leave for Vegas on Friday for a week. Upon my return things change. No more smoking, I got Commit. To replace that addiction I'm resorting the gym. I'm finally going to take control.

Day Two at the Gym.

Well, woke up this morning and headed to the gym - yeah for me! I'm planning on sticking with this to the end, or at least until I fit back into my size 10's.

Today will be a bit more difficult, I have a lunch meeting and an after work function where pizza will be served - I'll have to stick with the fish to the end.

Weight today: 175.

Faltering stops now.

My schedule has been less than permitting for regular work out tactics. Late nights mean late mornings, early mornings mixed with late nights means fast food. I haven't even seen the inside of the gym for two weeks.

I decided it stops now. I keep making excuses, "I'd only be there for 20 minutes if I go now" is my latest, greatest and most favorite. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and wondered what happened to that cute girl with the kick butt collar bone and the chest that stayed up where it was supposed to? So I started working out again, work always says I can come in at 9:00 yet I insist on being there between 8-8:30. 9:00 doesn't make me a bad person, so from now on I will start at 9, but still get up like I was going to be there at 8.

The scale at the gym said I weighed 178 yesterday. I bought a scale for my apartment. Even if I never step on it, it will be a constant reminder of what I should be keeping in mind.

I bought fish and spinach and made it yesterday, divided into one helping servings so that my calories stayed down but I was eating healthy things. I bought water so when I am thirsty I don't go for the sugar wielding juice or the bottle of wine.

I went to the gym this morning - even though it was only 20 minutes, and I'm leaving for a lunch routine to get some weight work and light cardio done again.

I will own my self for once.

Finally feeling it.

The hardest part this go round of losing weight is how inconsistent my schedule is. At a drop of the hat, I'll go to Madison to work out of that office or I'm in Milwaukee but have meetings all day or events all night. I've finally managed to really start watching my intake on food and what I'm eating.

Prompting health problems on meat, I've switch primarily to soy. Soy Slender is amazing, it uses Splenda and actually can be downed with out too much choking back!

With trying to get to the gym and watching what I eat, I'm at 172.5!