Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Lack of posts ...

That shows my lack of enthusiasim for the gym regement I've been on for the last eight months. It's so easy to get discouraged when you go from losing five pounds easily to nothing over two months - well I'm back!

I've been going to the gym on limited time, discouraged by the lack of inches and numbers on the scale going down. I'm still going, doing mostly cardio and limited weights and I'm still sort-of watching my caloric intake. All and all I haven't been doing well though.

After a weekend of pigging out and deciding to sleep in on Monday morning, I encouraged myself to get up and go to a limited morning routine. This week is hectic, I'm booked almost every night - so it's important that I get up and at least get in my 15-20 cardio.

My plateau has been discouraging, but after research I found that if I switch up my routine and increase my protien intake (which is limited due to my limited funds) I may have better results. So lately I've been eating more chicken and peanut butter and less soups and salads hoping that the numbers go down.

Well, and I'm almost afraid to put this in print, my weight went down! This morning I was 152.5 - I weighed myself three times thinking that just couldn't be right! I'm sure I've lost a little bit of muscle since I'm not working out very much, but it was encouraging to see that some work is paying off. I have a peanut butter sandwich (on wheat bread) for breakfast and a chicken SmartOnes meal for lunch. I'm also trying to get more healthy dairy (yogurts & milk instead of cheeses) in my diet, hoping all this will pay off!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Taking a break ...

I took a break from the gym today, call it a mental health day or what not, but no gym for me.

Doing pretty good on the eating - I did sneak in two minature peppermint patties and a diet black cherry vanilla coke (o calories) as sweet treats and after all the hardwork for our pitch - one of our art directors bought coffee. I'm hacking all and all up to around 500 calories for this morning.

I ate 1/2 a cup of soup - totalling out around 90 calories and two apples (another 160) and some chicken from a frozen SmartOnes meal - but only the chicken. Just to be safe, I'm qualifing that at 100 calories instead of the 160 the box says. So ... that would be 850 thus far. Throw in a light dinner around 400 and perhaps a beer with it I'll be holding fast to my "not to exceed 1500 rule."

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

3/2 PM Update - let's do math!

Food roster so far ...

A delicious, yet high calorie bagel with 2 tablespoons of cream cheese - yikes, 600 calories.

Carrots for snacking - totaling around 100 calories.

That Mountain Dew I couldn't stop myself from drinking - 300 calories.

Soup for lunch - 180 calories.

So far for today = 1180 calories, which leaves me 320 calories for dinner. Okay, so I'm going to unwind with two beers at 80 a pop - so that's 160 and that leaves 160 for dinner. I'm thinking of soup - that will put me over just by 20 and I'll work it off prior at the gym :)

3/2

Weight: 153.5

To go?13.5 - 18.5
Vegas: 8.5
Summerfest: 13.25

Finally! The scale moved! I'm getting down there, I just have to stay focused and watch what I eat. It's a bit easier when the work shows on the scale ...

Today I did cardio, the knee raise machine, hip abductor and chest press. Signed up to go back tonight at 6 - would ideally like to do cardio, shoulder press and rowing machine. Gotta keep it up :) i'm already snacking on carrots.

Monday, January 30, 2006

What I look like today ...



Curves and all - here's a good shot of how my back looks (not turning around yet ...) after losing 40 lbs - hoping to trim it down a bit, but it doesn't look all too bad!

Snacking on Carrots ...

Did you know that 10.5 baby carrots is only 35 calories! Snack away :)

Weight: 154.5

So - that's down .75lbs which is good but could be better! I slipped a couple times last week and am determined not to do that this week.

I went to the gym at lunch again - that is always refreshing! It's going to be a late night, so I won't be able to hit it up again this evening but I will be there tomorrow morning. Besides that, I'm going to be entering into a photography contest, so I'll work on those photos tonight instead.

A Little Piece of Me



I just posted this on my other blog as well - but it show's promise. This is my waist, the left 1/2 of my body to be exact. standing almost butt naked. Check it out, it curves in and doesn't flop out! That's darn exciting right there!

Truth is I'm not ready to take it all off for the camera - but I am ready to show off bits and pieces to remind myself I'm fabulous and I absolutely adore this tattoo so why the hell not.

More pics to come to remind me of progress ...

Start of Three ...

I haven't been very fabulous lately, I've been very NOT fabulous. I'm going to try and go to the gym over lunch and again after work - after all we need to see where I'll be starting week three at - on the wagon, off it, underneath it's spinning wheels ...

I didn't over eat this weekend, so I'm hoping that's reflected on the scale when I get to the gym. My house is finally clean - now it's time to work on my desk and I'm going to put in some effort into finding a new job again (maybe one with a signing bonus).

The things I know I need to fix right now in my life are:

(1) MOVE OUT! I can't be independent in my dad's basement.
(2) Get financially somewhere, have a savings account.
(3) Look for a new job and get it - or the chance to get it.

I feel like if I can accomplish those three things, I can actually get on the road to feeling fabulous.

Friday, January 27, 2006

2/5

The inches made me very happy yesterday - gained 1 in the waste, stayed neutral in the chest but chucked two on the hips - so pretty good sign.

My knee throbbed this morning so I gave it a break from the AM workout - I plan on hitting the gym up after work though and getting in some kind of workout.

I'm chowing on a 600 calorie bagel right now, balanced out with an 80 calorie apple, I'm going to have to watch real close what else I consume today... for lunch I brought a SmartOnes 180 calorie shrimp marinara. Since it is the weekend, I'm going to try and stay around the 1500 mark today - but by lunch I'll have already chowed 940. Ouch.

I toyed with the idea of working out over lunch, but I'm more interested in getting out of here at a decent time tonight - so I'm not even going to pressure myself!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

PM

Weight: 154.75

Measurements:
Chest: 36
Waist: 29
Hips: 35

How much to go? 14.75 - 19.75 lbs.

Info:
Weightloss: Yeah me! I went to the gym over lunch and worked out a quick cardio at level 3 for 7 minutes, then did the seated leg press followed by that machine that you hang off of (I should look at the names).

As a treat to myself, I left work a bit early and did 8 minutes of cardio at 2, followed by 20 minutes in the tanning bed and (my treat) 15 minutes in the sauna. I was pretty wiped, felt like I should have kicked out more - but really just wanted to shower and get out!

Why you shouldn't weigh yourself 3X during the day ...
AM: 155.25
Afternoon: 156
PM: 154.75
That's how quick your weight goes up/down a day.

To eat I had two apples (80 calories each) for breakfast, a "SmartOnes" 6pt Weightwatchers meal at 290 calories, a salad for dinner (?? not sure how many calories) and a WeightWatchers toffee bar for dessert. My guess is my intake was probably around 1200 calories today, not too bad.

Broken Wagon Wheel (Almost)

Last night was bad, bad, bad. I have to remember that pizza is a weakness and undoubtley will cause my weight gain to go up but I still ate a piece and a half while lounging and watching TV at my mom's then went home. I'm trying to keep in the right mind set so I was cleaning up my bathroom. In one of the drawers I found a bulky emergency kit that I had never opened and decided to get rid of it and just put the elements in the cabinet. There it was, a small bottle of Ipecac. I sat on the floor with it in my hand and thought that I could get rid of the pizza in five minutes.

I started the shower and sat on the floor fondling the bottle but (thank god!) I had a flashback from two years ago doing the exact same thing - right before my realization that I couldn't keep doing that to my body and it wasn't worth the quick fix. I threw the bottle out. The wheel might be broken, but at least it's fixable.

I am so ashamed that I even thought about it last night. I've hit rock bottom and I can feel it. For the first time in two years I thought about all the bad things I could do to myself at that moment just to forget everything that was going on. One line of coke, one joint, one shot. Thank goodness that I don't talk to anyone with access to those things anymore. I laid awake in bed and ignored the 200 phone calls that I received in ten minutes. I just needed a break from everything. I went to bed at 10 and tossed and turned all night.

When I woke up this morning I hit the alarm six times - a total of an hour. Then I conned myself into actually getting out of bed. A sharp pain went through my leg - too much on the old knee cap and for a minute I thought I could go back to sleep and skip the gym. Then I thought about my goals. I knew I would be up on the scale, should I let that win? I didn't let my past conqueor me last night and I wouldn't let a sore knee do that to me. Plus, maybe it was just stiff? So I got out of bed, put on my "skinny" sweater and headed to the gym.

Scale said 155.25, that's a gain. Knee was sore (not stiff) so I cranked out 24 minutes on the bike at level one. I was dripping wet. No weights, but I signed up to go back after work and I might try to go over lunch.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

25 things about me that most 25 year olds can't say.

As inspired by "15 things you must do by the time your 30," I'm attempting to put together a list of things I've done that not alot of people can say. Some things are important and should be considered, some are just odd quarks to let you know a little bit about me. It's on-going right now, but just wanted to start getting it on paper (or computer screen - you know, whatever).

(1) I've traveled alone.
(2) I had a short stint as a soft-core porn photographer.
(3) I've been published in a coffee book for pictures that I've taken (not of porn).
(4) I've been a groupie for a band.
(5) I was the first to graduate from college in my immediate family.
(6) I've been engaged, and had the smarts to call it off.
(7) I can crotchet.
(8) I can't remember the real color of my hair.
(9) I've had sex at a ballpark.
(10) I've had three body piercings (see #4 for explanation)
(11) I've written over 100 articles for a pub I will some day publish.
(12) For one summer, I was the sh*t.

Good start. :)

2/3 - New Goals and Inspirations

Weight: 154.75

How much to go? 14.75 - 19.75 lbs.

Info:
Weightloss: I went to the gym this morning with new determination. I've been slacking, and while it's a good time making up excuses, it's not accomplishing my goals. It's time for a bit of re-evaluation, I've been stuck in the 50s going on two months and it's time to break into the 40s!

New Goals:
1: Vegas countdown, 9 weeks. One pound a week - that's 9 lbs puts me in a bikini.
2: Summerfest countdown, 20 weeks. Let's be realistic, I'd like to say one pound continued after Vegas, but I'll falter. Therefore 20 weeks minus the Vegas goal is 9lbs. The remainder of 11 weeks, goal will be 1/2 a pound. That means 14.5 pounds in 20 weeks. Realistic, yes. .25lbs from high end of goal - even better. :)

Lifestyle: I could entertain you with the dirty details of my not-so-great night last night, or I could direct you to my other blog Single in the City . Lifestyle isn't the most fabulous right now, but I'm accepting my position in life.

Affirmation of the Day: I am fabulous, my shoulders are defined and check out my collar bone. Damn, I am sexy. Repeat ten times.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Day Two/Week Two

Weight: 155.25

How much to go? 15.25 - 20.25 lbs.

Info:
Weightloss: So, better than I thought - though I was a bum this morning at the gym. The weekend led to a nasty fall on the ski hill which screwed up my knee cap pretty bad. The swelling is going down; however, the stiffness is still there. I managed to plug out 15 minutes at level two during cardio, 30 at 35 on the chest press and 50 at 50 on the ab machine. Not overly impressive, but something got done. I'm going to try and go back this afternoon and I signed up to tan at 6:05 to get in an evening work out. Tomorrow is league night, but I'm thinking of skipping it this week to work on a little more "me" things.

Lifestyle: During this weekend's rendevous, my older brother posed a question - "Do you have any friends? Dad and I were disussing that the other night." I said, "Of course I do. He complains I'm never home - where does he think I am? Sitting at a bar by myself?" Then he informed me there is a big difference between friends and drinking buddies. That got me thinking, all my "friend" encounters do revolve around drinking and I haven't been doing that lately, so I haven't been hanging out with my "friends" per say. I didn't let him know this - but really, all my true friends live out of state. Sad but true. So, my goal for the next couple of months is to establish a friend. The other thing that he brought up was the factor that most of my friends are male - males with whom I've occassionally made out with or had sex with. This brought up another good point in a lifestyle change I need to make.

Cleaning house: Yes, I did it. I started cleaning, there's a lot of garbage I have to take out - but it's getting there. I also did a hellauv a lot of laundry. Still, with the piles of clean clothes in the basket, I managed to wear a stained shirt today. That's what I get for picking out clothes at dawn. So, the next goal is to finish cleaning and to save time in the AM, pick out my clothes for the next day the day before.

Time to eat an apple!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Week One Done. The Start of Week Two.

This is already a horrible start. I was up all night contemplating how I might come up with a couple grand quick so that I might move out of my dad's place and work on the mental health thing. I didn't do the gym all weekend because I was in the U.P of Michigan skiing (which is good cardio) - but then there was all that junk food and the delicious coffee drinks with Baileys in them.

I came home to a note from my wonderful father which promptly said that he thinks it's great that I'm taking care of my body; however, it's his house and my place needs to get clean - I also need to get rid of one of my cats. This didn't do much for the whole self esteem and I've been craving a sympathy, greasy chicken sandwich with mozzeralla sticks and a big fat jug of martinis all day.

I replied to his note with one of my own (how incredibly juvenile of me, but still): Dad - A couple of things ... (1) You are right, I will clean tonight straight after work without going to the gym. (2) Fine. Get rid of my cat. You do it. (3) We need to talk rent. (4) But we will not talk at all today.

I've decided that I simply cannot get ahead in my finances with the rent he charges me (the point of me sucking it up and moving home to begin with) especially if he goes about my supposed "place" as much as he does. We need to come to an agreement that I pay less - now I'm not talking 1/2 of what I do now - I'm talking about the original amount that was agreed to when I moved in. My rent jumped as the weeks got closer to me moving in, having no other option at the end (since I had already left my lease) I just accepted it. It started off at $250, then the week before it was $300, then two days AFTER I moved in it was $350 and now it is $425. I know that seems like a low amount, but I don't get free food or any other perks you remember when you lived with your parents - I get him in my place all the time. With student loan repayments, it will take me 7 months to save if I do not get another job and I will have to be home all the time, which will lead to continued talk of me having no friends and being told I'm home too much. If I do get another job, he will yell that I am not home enough - but I will only have to endure him for a mere three months - of course, this cuts back on my gym routine and will no doubt add to how tired I am in the morning.

With that said, I'm glad I'm headed home tonight and that I don't have food in my fridge. The big battle of the bulge will be fighting the McD's and Taco Bells and Arbys and Wendys and Kopps and Burger Kings, etc on the way home. I'm sure I've gone up (my bigger jeans are fitting perfectly around my hips today) and I have to fight the urge to end the first week with a gain.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Seven Day Recap

Weight: 156

How much to go? 16 - 21 lbs.

Info:
Weightloss: So 7 days later I'm in the exact same spot. Nice to see that the weight yesterday was just a fluke though. Action plan for this weekend is LOTS of cardio on the hills and not TOO MANY pit stops at the lodges 1/2 way down the hill :). There won't be any posts since I will be in no where land, but wish me luck on progress!

This morning I got up nice and early! I headed to the gym, 18 minutes of cardio, the chest press, the shoulder press, the seated row, hip abductor, hip adductor and then finished off with another 10 minutes of cardio at level 8! I was so out of breathe it wasn't even funny!

Nothing to eat as of yet, but will be having an apple or two around noon and probably pit stop at a fast food place on the way up for lunch. I swear I will not eat anything deep fried! The nice thing is that my system does not like beef, so that keeps me away from greasy hamburgers!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Day Seven/Afternoon

Weight: 158

How much to go? 19 - 22 lbs.

Info:
Weightloss: Okay, I went to the gym over lunch. I'm glad I did it, I feel better now - but it was limited time and I still stepped on that damn scale. That scale was not to happy with me apparently.

I shouldn't make excuses for my weight gain - but I'm going to anyway. I'm blaming it partly on the fact that I didn't weigh myself in the morning and mostly on the fact that I ate horrible yesterday - including drinking too much soda which I need to cut out (Diet Sprite my ass).

So shame on me! I will go back after work tomorrow. I will go tomorrow morning and I will go tomorrow afternoon before heading up to MI. :) That scale will NOT go up again!

Day Seven/AM

Well, the good new is that I got up this morning. The bad news is that I ate WAY too much pizza & nachos at leagues last night that I didn't go to the gym this morning. I tinkering with the idea of taking the day off (after all Fri, Sat, Sun is all skiing which is good cardio) or going over the gym hour, either way - there will be no weighing in today!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Day Six - Pizza is not my friend.

Weight: 155

How much to go? 16 - 20 lbs.

Info:
Weightloss: Success! I got up this morning at a semi-decent time, getting to the gym by 6:30am. 22 minutes of cardio at level 3 and some weight work, then got dressed for work. So that's the good news.

The bad news ... shouldn't have ate all that pizza. Good thing I did the double work out - otherwise that scale would have been more than up by .25lbs.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Day Five/PM - Eek.

I'm not posting my PM weight because I knew better than to do it. You should always weigh yourself at the same time on a set day (again, bad on my part for recording it EVERY day).

Yeah me, though! I went to the gym after work after being blown off by Mr. D. 18 minutes, level 4 cardio. (4) reps of 25 at 40lbs on the chest press, (4) reps of 25 at 35lbs on the row, 100 crunches on the ab machine at 50lbs, (5) reps of 20 on the hip abductor and the same on the adductor and to reward myself, 8 minutes in the tanning bed.

Bad me also, I didn't eat that well today. I had 5 apples to curb my smoking but three pieces of pizza (no wonder the scale tipped) and then finished the night off with grilled zucchini at Outback, no butter but carmel glaze on the side which I LIGHTLY dipped. Good thing I'm not aware of the amount of calories in the pizza or the zucchini because I way over did it today.

Tomorrow is leagues and I'm NOT drinking more than one beer, I'm sticking to water. I'm also going to eat some healthy soup. :)

Let's hope I can wake up tomorrow and burn some of those calories off!